Doggy Style

I was born on a hot day in the middle of July. I wasn’t the eldest, and I wasn’t the youngest. I guess I was somewhere in between. There were nine of us, three boys and six girls, and we lived in a small dark room.

Every once in a while, Master would come get us, and we would get to play in the yard. There would always be Other People there, watching us.

My brothers and sisters liked to play with balls. They’d chase each other, and toss each other over to get one of the balls. I’d usually lie down under the tree and watch them. My mom would bask in the attention Master gave her. He didn’t usually pet her that much, but she loved him nonetheless. I guess I liked him too, he was okay. He brought us food and stuff.

After a while, every time we got to play in the yard, one of us would go missing. They were taken by the Other People that had come to watch us. The Other People were nice, nicer than Master, and I always hoped that they would make me go missing too. But my sisters went first, and then one of my brothers, and in the end only me and my other brother were left.

I think the Other People didn’t take him because he wasn’t pretty, and they didn’t take me because I didn’t really like to play all that much. Master called us Ugly and Lazy. I don’t think those are very nice names. Our mother’s name was Bella, but Master only called her that when the Other People came. When we were alone, he’d call her Dumb Dog.

But Ugly and I, we called her Mom, and I think she liked that.

Then, one day, Master came into our room, and let us out into the yard. Ugly and I assumed that the Other People were back to watch, so we were happy, and making bets which one of us would go missing this time. But it was different. Master didn’t let Mom come with us in the yard, and I heard her barking and yelping at me and Ugly.

Master didn’t allow us to go lie down under the tree or play with the ball, but in stead he put us in his car. I had seen cars before, the Other People usually had them, but I had never been in one. It was noisy, and nauseating, and I didn’t like it one bit.

We spent a very long time in the car, and I threw up once, which made Master very mad. I didn’t mean to throw up, I never had before and I didn’t like it, but the car was so hot.

I think I fell asleep at some point, because when I woke up, Master was pulling on my collar, urging me and Ugly to get out of the car. He brought us to a small house with a flat roof, and there was a lot of noise. There were a lot of dogs barking, and I hoped that my sisters and brother would be there too, because I missed them.

Master told the nice girl at the desk, that he had found us wandering in the streets. I tried to tell her that it wasn’t true, and that our Mom was still at Master’s home, but she didn’t understand. She tickled my chin to make me stop telling her. It felt very nice, and I forgot about telling her altogether.

The nice girl told Master that they would take good care of me and my brother, and then he walked out, without a backward glance.

We were taken to a cage, which was even smaller than the room we grew up in, but it wasn’t as dark, so it was okay. The nice girl told us her name was Leila, and she brought us water and food that tasted better than anything I had ever had.

Ugly played with the ball we had, and I lay in on the blanket that was folded in the corner. I liked to watch him play, and every once in a while I talked to Bernard, our neighbor. He was old, and wise, and I liked him a lot. He told us bedtime stories, about a big house with white fences, and lots of food and hugs.

I’m not sure he ever really lived in such a house, but he seemed determined that a house like that did exist, and that it was waiting for him, Out There.

We got to go out and play every day. A small door in the back of our cage would open, and we’d get to go outside in a very large cage with Bernard, and Mikey, our other neighbor. He was small. Smaller than us, but older. That was funny.

Mikey liked to play with balls too, so he and my brother used to play a lot, and Bernard and I would watch them. Leila used to clean out our cage whenever we were outside, and sometimes I paid her a visit and cuddled on her lap, before letting her get back to her chores.

A few days into our stay at the Barking House, an old man and woman came and took Bernard away. They brought him a collar that smelled very good, and they told him that he’d be with them forever. I touched noses with him, on his way out, and I licked him through the fence. The old people let us take our time. I think they understood that we had to say our goodbyes. I hoped that they had a large house and a white fence, like Bernard wanted.

It was the next day, that I learned of our new names. Leila started referring to us as Dim en Sum. I thought those names were silly, but at least it’s better than Lazy and Ugly, I think. Sum liked his name a lot, he used to tease me that I was a bit dim and dull, like the lights out in the hallway, and that he was the sum of all that was great.

He thought he was smart, until I told him that they should have called me Sim, and him Dum. I don’t think he knew how to respond to that.

Some days later, a young couple came. They had a kid, which I think was called Tim. They had a hard time deciding between me and my brother, but in the end, Sum found a new home, and not me. I think it had to do with our names. Tim and Dim would have been a bit silly, wouldn’t it?

I sniffed Sum’s odor one last time, my final memory of my life with Master and Mom, soon to be taken away. I knew he’d have it good, and that he would get to play a lot with the kid. He was going to love his new life, I was sure.

More days followed, and Leila seemed to become more and more sad. I often wondered if it was something I’d done, that made her stop cuddling me and telling me what a great life I’d have.

Then, That Day came. I was just enjoying my morning breakfast when two people walked in. They were the tallest people I had ever seen. The woman was carrying a collar, and the man had his arm around her shoulder.

They told Leila that they were looking for a dog, not too large and not too small. I didn’t really pay attention, because I figured I was too small for their liking anyway.

They walked through the path between the cages, and all of the other dogs started barking, and jumping up against the fences. I just kept on eating, because who wants to waste perfectly good food anyway?

The Tall Ones took their time, looking at every dog, asking for their story. I knew that the one who would get to go home with them, was one very lucky dog.

They spent some time with Rascal, who just got in the day before, but he was very excited, and I think he might even have peed a little. Whatever the reason, they decided to look on, and that was when they passed my cage.

I had eaten my breakfast, and I had retreated to the far corner once again. Most people didn’t notice me when I laid down, but The Tall Ones did. The woman sank down on her knees, and looked up at the man.

“Come look at him,” she said, “isn’t he adorable?”

Mom raised me well, so I decided to go greet them, and I got up to go and sit with her.

“He will leave us tomorrow,” Leila said. I didn’t know that, but I was sort of happy that they had found me a new home, but also a bit sad that it wouldn’t be with The Tall Ones.

The man looked at Leila, and said, “Have you found him owners, or…?”

“The latter, I’m afraid. He’s been here for two weeks, and no one wants him.”

The woman had stuck her fingers through the gate, and I softly pressed my nose against them to see what they smelled like. It was something I had never smelled before. Fresh and clean and sweet.

“Look how cute he is,” she whispered to the man, “can you believe nobody wants him? We can’t leave him here to die.”

“Honey,” the man said, while crouching, “we talked about a medium size. This, he, what’s his name?”

“Dim,” Leila responded.

“Dim?” the woman frowned.

“He had a brother named Sum, he found a family four days ago.”

The man looked at me, and said, “Dim here, is a Boxer, they grow to be twice the height of our coffee table.”

The woman kept scratching me behind my ears, and I looked up at the man. He stuck his fingers in too, and I lapped at them. They smelled almost the same as the woman’s.

A smile broke on the man’s face, and he looked at the woman. “Dim it is, but I’m thinking we need a bigger collar.”

They took me out of my cage, and the woman lifted me up into her arms.

“Oh boy, you’re heavy,” she chided. I pressed my nose against her neck and she laughed.

She handed me to the man, when she gave her information to Leila. I learned that the man’s name was Gil, when she asked him for her wallet. He shifted me from one arm to the other, to reach in his pocket, and handed it to her.

She handed Leila her driver’s license.

“Let me see, Sara Jane Sidle?”

“That’s Grissom, actually,” Gil interrupted.

“Yeah, it’s old, I need to get that replaced,” Sara smiled.

In the next few minutes I learned our new address, and postal code, though I have no idea what that means.

They took me outside, and into the car. I didn’t really want to get into the car all that much, because I was afraid I might throw up again, and they’d send me back.

But I didn’t get nauseous this time, and the car wasn’t as noisy as Master’s either.

This time the drive wasn’t so long, and when we got out of the car, Sara walked around a huge house, and put me down on a very big lawn. It smelled really good, and there was even a big tree there, and a few bones and toys and stuff.

“This is home, Dim,” she said, “go on, check out your new toys.”

I had never seen toys before, only balls. They had these odd shapes. One of them looked like cheese, and it squeaked a bit when I bit down on it. It scared me, because I’d never had squeaky food before, and it didn’t even taste like cheese either. But Sara was very nice about it, and she didn’t mind that I didn’t want to play as much.

Gil appeared behind the windows of the doors in the house, and I walked up to him to see what he was doing. He opened the doors with a bang, and I ran back to Sara who was sitting on the grass.

“We’ll have to put oil on those,” Gil said, “we’re going to use them a whole lot more with this little guy around the house.”

He sat down with us, and I put my head on his leg, and closed my eyes.

“One of us should go out and buy him a bigger collar,” he said, while he softly patted my back and sides.

“I’ll go, you think of a better name,” Sara answered.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep, was Gil talking to me, thinking of a Shakespearian name.

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